Friday, 8 January 2016

Montezuma's Revenge / You Gotta Laugh

'You Gotta Laugh' is really a page about nothing, just stuff that makes me laugh!

Rising early, I arrived at my Exercise Physiology session 10 minutes early on Tuesday due to the light holiday traffic and found a parking spot with no trouble for once. After my accident, I have to attend two sessions a week as well as attending hydrotherapy twice a week.

I usually try to book early morning sessions because I have to go to work afterwards and I must admit it thrills me not, getting up early. I am not a morning person and the thought of exercising at 7.30 am thrills me even less. 

But, it is part of my rehabilitation and since I would like to become stronger and hopefully experience less pain, I must attend dutifully even though I would much rather just roll over in bed when the alarm goes off, close my eyes and pretend I never had an accident in the first place. Alas, my back will not let me forget it.

I usually have to do around 30 to 40 minutes of land based exercises first and then I get to go in the hydro pool and do another 20 or so minutes in the water.

It's interesting listening to the other people around me talking with each other or with the therapist, all eager to share their latest ache or complain about how that particular exercise makes their legs shaky or their heart race or their body sweat too much. It seems everyone likes to regale everybody with their tales of woe regarding their poor health. You kind of get used to it and sometimes manage to block it out and just concentrate on counting. 3 sets of 15 for each exercise or stretch. The mantra playing in my head, "I can do this, I can do this."

It's always a relief to finally get through all the assigned exercises and to hear those words 'Ok, that's it. You can hop in the pool now.' 

'Yes!' It's still exercise but it feels so much easier. That weightless feeling and the warmth of the water. 35 repeats of every exercise but it feels less like hard work and more like fun.

Nobody talks much in the pool. In fact, accept for the water splashing and the occasional grunt, nobody says anything, which suits me fine. Leaves me to count and think. Except this day. This day was a first!
Not the actual pool but roughly the same size

There was three of us in the pool already. Now, it's a small pool with a set of stairs to get into the pool plus two deep sections where you can only go with a noodle to hold you up. So, when number four came into the pool area there was a soft collective groan from those of us already in the water. The new attendee hobbled over to grab a pair of hydro shoes and headed back to the bench to put them on. 

Now as you probably know, an indoor pool area has a lot of echo especially with loud noises so imagine the stunned looks on the faces of the three of us in the water when the newcomer bent over to put on the hydro shoes and...now how should I put this? He inadvertently let the winds of Montezuma rip! 

In case you miss my meaning and at the risk of being uncouth, the gentleman let rip with a monumental fart that could have rivalled the fog horn on any proud ship! I imagine the volume of wind released could have powered a small city!

Cartoon by Alex Leonard of the Giddy Limit
Suddenly it was as if the three occupants of the pool had been hit with the ice of Queen Elsa as we all became statue like in our attempt to pretend we hadn't heard anything out of the ordinary. 

I made sure I didn't make eye contact with anyone and tried not to think about it lest I had my own explosion....of laughter, and cause the gentleman more embarrassment. The gentleman, however, after a few mumbled words of surprise seemed to take it all in his stride and just went about the business of putting his shoes on and entering the pool.

I must admit I found the remainder of my session in the pool some what disconcerting. I tried to stick to my little corner and ignore the bubbles rising around me, trying not to think about whether it was the vents making the bubbles or........

I finally allowed the dam of laughter to burst forth later that night as I regaled my husband with the tale between trying to catch my breath and wiping my eyes. As I told him the story however, I did notice he didn't seem to be quite as amused as I was.

I guess you had to be there!

Cheers

Mare